Taken from allsorts
Just do a Google search of the phrase "unfortunately, _______" but put your first name in the blank (be sure to enclose it all in quotation marks). The resultant phrases are hilarious if you have a slightly twisted sense of humor and an appreciation for random absurdity.
Mine:
Unfortunately, Rebecca's private life mirrored her almost-there success on film.
Unfortunately, Rebecca also forgets the troubles she's had over the years with Today Tonight.
Unfortunately Rebecca suffered kidding difficulties and had an abnormal onset of lactation. (HA!)
Unfortunately, Rebecca, a 17-month-old baby, suffered significant injuries from being swept out to sea, but was rescued by a local and taken to a cave called Bat Hole.
Unfortunately, Rebecca Ryan is the cutest baby ever and no-one can stop fussing.
Unfortunately, Rebecca's elbows don't sustain excessive training and not even excessive exercise day after day.
Unfortunately Rebecca and Houston did not find fate in each other, and she moved down the road to Austin, Texas.
Unfortunately, Rebecca's association with Miriam is later considered a sign of her sorcery.
Unfortunately, Rebecca can’t get the fashion journalist job so she has to settle to be a financial news journalist.
Unfortunately, Rebecca could not find a company who trained service dogs that would accept a bulldog.
Unfortunately, Rebecca couldn't take the situation and left, making it clear that she didn't want Oliver in her life.
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