The Loss of a Beloved Pet

There was life BEFORE Tyler, life WITH Tyler, and now there is life WITHOUT Tyler.

To those who don't know me personally, Tyler was my female Jack Russell Terrorist, as I called her. She was with me for 6 years, being born on October 10, 2002 to a breeder near Guelph. I got her from a pet store after the breeder decided to sell her rather than putting her down because she was brindle and therefore undesirable.

A series of unfortunate events led Tyler to have terrible environmental and food allergies which were difficult to deal with and left her in constant discomfort. To deal with the terrible itching and consequent scratching (to the point of rawness and infection), Tyler was prescribed prednisone, a steroid, and Benadryl. This combination was the last of several different courses of medication, and seemed to work the best, although it didn't provide complete relief.

A main issue of prednisone is that it messes with your immune system, liver, and brain. So in the last couple of years Tyler's behaviour started to change, and not for the better. In recent weeks she became aggressive and had a few neurotic episodes.

Last Friday I made the decision to end Tyler's suffering, and to prevent her from possible aggression that would cause injury to Delilah or someone else. I called around, and after speaking with 3 different vets, I decided to take her to Staples Vet Clinic, just around the corner from us. The appointment was set for 2:45 Monday, February 23/09. Yesterday.

Yesterday was the most terrible day of my life. We took her to the vet and didn't bring her home. I can't describe the events at this point, it just hurts too much. The guilt I feel is overwhelming, paralyzing, and excruciating.

I loved my dog, I love her still. She was my baby, my pet, my best friend, and my sleep companion for 6 years. She was there when no one else was, and was always willing to give hugs and kisses and comfort, even when she didn't know what was wrong. She was full of boundless energy, and would play catch for hours if you had the energy to do it. She loved her toys, and did tricks including sit, lay down, lay down and roll over, shake a paw, and "bang, you're dead!" -pointing my finger at her, I'd say the phrase, and she'd lay on her side like she was dead. Hilarious. Her favourite treat was carrot. She loved cheese and egg and probably everything else but couldn't enjoy those things due to her allergies. She would defend me if she felt someone was being threatening. She was a super-fast runner, could catch balls out of the air, and loved me with all her heart.

And I killed her.

For that, I don't think I'll ever forgive myself. I hope she understands that I did it for all the right reasons, and that she heard me telling her that I loved her, even as she died. I hope she forgives me.

I love you Tyler.

"Unfortunately, __________" - a Meme

Taken from allsorts

Just do a Google search of the phrase "unfortunately, _______" but put your first name in the blank (be sure to enclose it all in quotation marks). The resultant phrases are hilarious if you have a slightly twisted sense of humor and an appreciation for random absurdity.

Mine:

Unfortunately, Rebecca's private life mirrored her almost-there success on film.

Unfortunately, Rebecca also forgets the troubles she's had over the years with Today Tonight.

Unfortunately Rebecca suffered kidding difficulties and had an abnormal onset of lactation. (HA!)

Unfortunately, Rebecca, a 17-month-old baby, suffered significant injuries from being swept out to sea, but was rescued by a local and taken to a cave called Bat Hole.

Unfortunately, Rebecca Ryan is the cutest baby ever and no-one can stop fussing.

Unfortunately, Rebecca's elbows don't sustain excessive training and not even excessive exercise day after day.

Unfortunately Rebecca and Houston did not find fate in each other, and she moved down the road to Austin, Texas.

Unfortunately, Rebecca's association with Miriam is later considered a sign of her sorcery.

Unfortunately, Rebecca can’t get the fashion journalist job so she has to settle to be a financial news journalist.

Unfortunately, Rebecca could not find a company who trained service dogs that would accept a bulldog.

Unfortunately, Rebecca couldn't take the situation and left, making it clear that she didn't want Oliver in her life.

Do Less in 2009

Taken from my new favourite site, The Idler:

Do Less in 2009

09 January 2009

The way to thrive in 2009 is simply to join the Idler’s Do Less Campaign. It’s simple: you just do less. That means less shopping, less driving, less holidaying, less working, less spending. And more sitting around at home, more reading, chatting and drinking. Doing less is cheap and easy and it’s kind to the environment. The era which privileged the busy high achiever is coming to an end. That system has been found wanting, and there is a new world out there, a world of more fun, more freedom, more time for reflection and contemplation, community and cooking, making and mending. John Calvin - you have so much to answer for.

hmm. Sounds pretty good to me.

This Tom Hodgkinson has some pretty good ideas. His theory on Idle Parenting is spot on, I say.

Time Goes On

I'm sitting on the couch, writing this entry on my laptop. Ben is asleep in the Ikea chair and D is asleep beside me on the couch. It's 1:40 in the afternoon. Why aren't I napping, too? I must be silly.

It has struck me especially hard in the last few days, how quickly time has passed since D was born. The first few months seemed to drag by, especially since I was so weak/in so much pain, but now I'm all healthy. Every time I turn around it seems that Delilah is one month older. She's nine months old today!

I visited a friend a few days ago - she has a 3 week old baby girl. Ah, the days...now I know why all women who have had children seem to gravitate to infants. It is a lovely stage, seldom appreciated while here and gone so fast. It's a bit of a conflicting feeling I have: I want this part to last forever, but on the other hand, I can't wait for her to grow up, just a little, so I get to hear her talk and sing and play and run around...but that will come. For now, let's just sit back...and watch her sleep.

Update on the Handmade Toys Issue

Here's a link to the Facebook page. It has information on the updates.

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Handmade-Toy-Alliance/43825506737#/pages/Handmade-Toy-Alliance/43825506737

So the voices were heard-and a stay was granted. But this will only postpone the ban, not prevent it. Hopefully changes will be made before the time runs out.

I read a good analogy over on Handmade Toy Alliance:
"If this law had been applied to the food industry, every farmers market in the country would be forced to close while Kraft and Dole prospered."
~http://www.handmadetoyalliance.org/

Lovely. Just lovely.

What Was Lost is Now Found

Well.

Apparently the fairies were playing tricks on me. This morning I came downstairs and was setting up my Scents of Ambiance diffuser on my shelf. Right in front of where I put it was my wedding ring set.

Right where I had looked yesterday.

Strange.

Have You Ever...

Lost your wedding/engagement rings?

Yeah. Mine were sitting on the ledge in my kitchen, safely located to avoid being lost down the drain while I did dishes yesterday. Today they are nowhere to be found.

I haven't moved them, and Ben says he hasn't touched them. So where are they?

Good question.

I'll keep you posted.

Too Clean?

I just read an interesting article over on Mama Knows Breast about how our culture's habits of being TOO clean has caused autoimmune disorders, asthma, etc. The theory is that the microbes, bacteria, worms, etc help our immune system to develop.

The author brings a good point - why do babies put EVERYTHING in their mouths? That's a good one. I mean, really, why would they ALL be designed to do that, if not for a reason? And to introduce germs etc is a pretty good one. What better way?

Go read the article. It's worth thinking about.

Now, I just have to get over this touch of germophobia...